I am sure you can fill in the blank.
I have been suspiciously quiet on my blog, haven’t I? No pictures or blogs from Christmas or New Years. It’s very unlike me. I have to be honest and tell you that I haven’t known how to come on here and tell you about my holidays because the aftermath of the holidays have been such a harsh kick in the ass. There. I said it. ASS.
A few months ago I told you about the Light the Night Walk. We walked in honor of my friend’s husband, Gary who was battling peripheral t-cell lymphoma. At the time of the walk Gary had recently had his last trip up to NIH in Washington DC and was doing well. The next time I saw Gary was in my home on Christmas Eve. They brought their son and had a great time with us. Gary seemed to be recovering really well. His hair was growing back. He was in awesome spirits. This was the third Christmas Eve, Samantha and Gary spent with my wild and crazy family. I am so sad to have to say that this was the last Christmas Eve Gary would spend with us. He fell ill on Christmas Day and after a week in the hospital passed away on New Years Day.
To say that the last 11 days have been difficult would be a massive understatement. I do not know how to put into words the grief I feel for my friend who will now have to raise her 2-year-old son without this father. She has to start over at 30 years old. It’s incomprehensible that in the span of one week we go from talking about planning more children, joking about sex and chores and date nights to life insurance policies, social security, and planning what I am going to say at Gary’s service. Last Wednesday we said farewell to Gary’s physical form. It was really a lovely service. Gary would have appreciated the fact that it was standing room only at one point.
Like I said, the past 11 days have been a kick in the ass. It’s very hard watching and listening to your friend grieve. It’s so easy to be there for your friends during the good times. The birthday parties and happy celebrations. It’s nice and fun to be able to laugh and joke. But the grieving process is hard. It’s a physical pain that I feel and I know that if I feel as if my heart is breaking…my friend is even worse off. Now is when it is important to really show up and be the friend you need to be.
Luckily, Sam has a great support system. We have a terrific group of girlfriends who want nothing more than to help her through this difficult time. Girlfriends are a beautiful thing. I always appreciated mine but the past 11 days has shown me how much more important it is to make sure you have a group of women in your life to enjoy in addition to your husband and kids. I know a lot of women who let their female relationships fall by the wayside once they get married and have kids because it’s not always easy to keep that connection going. Does that sound like you? It does? Well, change that scenarion. Take it from me… its worth it. A girl needs her girls. In more ways than any of you can imagine.
My World, My Words 