Sisterhood

My friend Martha recently added me onto her list of blogging sisters (referring to me as a fellow book hussy). Then today my friend Alie wrote this really beautiful blog about her friends and what we all add to her life. Sweet stuff, man!

It got me thinking about sisterhood and women friends. I think of a sisterhood and it makes me think of a group of close friends who are all close to each other and I realized that I have a few of these groups which I am blessed to belong to which are independent of each other.

Since I started this blog with them I can tell you that Martha, Alie, and I have our own little sisterhood with daily emails and interraction. They live on the other side of the country yet are with me every day and probably never realize how much they add to my life with their support.

Then my mom, sister, and I are a sisterhood which defies description. The older we get the better it gets. We are family in the deepest sense of the word.

I also have this fierce group of friends that started when we all started as wives and now we are mother or expectant mothers and one who still talks about “one day” when motherhood comes up. This is quite an eclectic group with different religions, values, opinions, and politics. We can get a little feisty but love each other to pieces at the end of the day.

Lastly, but never least because none of this was written in any special order of importance, I have my single sisters…meaning its just me and them in our own special friendships and that is okay because when its just me and them things are perfect: Elizabeth, Lizette, Lisa…

I am a lucky girl! I have a freaking network of sister friends…and an actual sister. I am surrounded and supported by loving, strong, sexy, intelligent, and creative women who are all FIERCE in their own ways.

Pass on the love. Recognize your sisterhood whether on your blog or in real life. Its really a nice thing to hear every once in a while.

Read Full Post »

Discipline

I think disciplining your child must be one of the hardest things about being a parent. So hard that some people ignore it completely and let their child(ren) run their lives. The other extreme is to go well overboard on the disciplining where there is very little in the way of love and affection. I am a firm believer that one is not raising their children for their home – you are raising your child for society. I think any parent worth their salt wants a child who respects their elders, minds their manners, and makes a good impression on people (among other things). I know I do. However, I also believe they can do this with sticky hands, un-made beds, and sunny dispositions.

My little girl is a clown. She tests us all of the time and with a smile on her face. We can just see the wheels turning in her head as she stands on the kitchen chair for the third time with a look on her face and a twinkle in her eye that says, “What are you going to do about it?” I don’t want her standing on the chair because she could fall and hurt herself. Chairs are meant to be sat on, not stood on. I am trying to enforce this without killing that twinkle in her eye because…honestly…I want to discipline her without breaking her spirit.

At the core of my discipline style is boundary setting. I do not deviate from what she is allowed to do from one day to the next just because I am tired or have had a long day at work. If she is not allowed to open the cabinet door when I am refreshed and awake then the same rule must apply when I am tired and cranky. Its hard as hell but, honestly, its the only way she is going to learn the rules and I am only putting my progress two steps back if I send her mixed signals. However, there are times when “no” doesn’t work and she tests us – as I described above. Its the age. So, then what?

We tried “time-out” for the first time, ever,yesterday evening. I had previously believed that at 18 months old she was too young for time-out and, really, what difference is a minute in a corner going to make? However, I am someone who is willing to try anything and so I found a boring corner away from us and the TV and her toys and I put Sophia in time-out. I told her why she was there (for standing on the chair) and that she had to stay there until we told her to get up. She whined the whole time but she, surprisingly, stayed in the corner. She cried this pitiful cry that made my husband melt but we held firm. After a minute, she was allowed to come out of the corner and resume playing but upon arriving in the living area decided that she would much rather return to time-out and thus turned around, marched back to the corner, and sat down. As I watched her do this and then cheerfully wave, “mama!” with a big smile my mind immediately blanked. Obviously this is not the right punishment at the right time for my child. Then what is?

I have spanked her if she is doing something which could result in her harming herself. That has worked but spanking is not something I intend to do for every little infraction – but as a last resort. Then again, I have seen friends way overuse time-out as an option, as well.  So – now what? Do I start googling parenting books? I think I just might.

The bottom line is that we all want our kids to listen to us and to behave themselves – all while being their happy-go-lucky little selves. The big question is: How do we accomplish this? Everyone has their own idea as to what the right way and wrong way is and I don’t know who is right. I know who I think is right but that is from the outside looking in. You never know what is really happening behind closed doors and if other parents are being truthful or just saying what you want to hear. Quite the conundrum, huh?

So, tell me – who is right?

Read Full Post »